El·e·na [el-uh-nuh, uh-ley-nuh; It. e-le-nah] /ˈɛlənə, əˈleɪnə; It. ɛˈlɛnɑ/ –noun a female given name, form of Helen // A proud student of His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche // Personal assistant with a BSc (Hons) Psych from Uni of Warwick // These are snapshots of my life, in words and pictures

Tired.

June 22, 2011 0

Sometimes people are tiring.

There, I said it, the words a ‘Buddhist’ should never use because we’re all meant to be aspiring Bodhisattvas.

Problem is, I’m not a Bodhisattva yet so my mind is not controlled, and my mind goes up and down.

On good days, the whole world is in pain and I live for others.

On bad days, everyone can f*ck off because all I want to do is crawl into bed, and throw myself into a selfish spin cycle.

On good days, I’ve got the time, patience and creativity to solve people’s problems.

On bad days, don’t tell me about how your hang-ups and selfishness are ruining your life, because listening to them ruins my day.

The thoughts of a Buddhist? No…maybe more the thoughts of an aspiring Buddhist :)

So my aim in this next year isn’t that big – I want my good days to become more, and my bad days to become less. How am I going to do that? By reminding myself that I don’t like who I am on my bad days, and working twice as hard to get out of that hole.

After all, one step back means you need two steps forward to improve, and I didn’t / don’t follow Rinpoche just so I can degenerate.

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