El·e·na [el-uh-nuh, uh-ley-nuh; It. e-le-nah] /ˈɛlənə, əˈleɪnə; It. ɛˈlɛnɑ/ –noun a female given name, form of Helen // A proud student of His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche // Personal assistant with a BSc (Hons) Psych from Uni of Warwick // These are snapshots of my life, in words and pictures

Damey (no self)

May 11, 2011 0

(Taken with my iPhone)

I have so many different thoughts going through my mind at the moment, most of them unfinished and not fully formed…

You see, originally I was going to write about my likes and dislikes. I had just been given an incredible image of Yamantaka from Rinpoche and realised of all the types of gifts I love to receive, I love dharma gifts the best. Yes, even over and above electronics and new cameras and phones!

So I started thinking – when it comes to gifts, I have a preference. I even have a preference when it comes to dharma gifts in terms of deities – I love love LOVE wrathful, male deities who are stout with non-human appearances like Yamantaka, Hayagriva and Kalarupa. Next are wrathful, more normal-looking deities like Palden Lhamo and finally, the peaceful deities like Tara, who are beautiful and still holy but invoke less of a reaction in me.

So I figured since I evidently don’t practise non-duality, and since I always write about my dislikes, what about what I do like? And that made me think – how are they, my preferences, any different from one another if I don’t exist?

The concept of Me not existing is such a powerful one. If I don’t exist, then there is no I to feel fear. If I don’t exist, then there is no I to experience suffering. If I don’t exist, then there is no I to get upset when people hurt me – there is no I for them to hurt. If I don’t exist, then all my likes and dislikes automatically don’t matter; they’re an illusion, since they are being applied to an object that is in reality non-existent.

So if I don’t exist, then there is no I to experience the disappointment of not getting my likes, and no I to experience the joy of not having to face my dislikes.

Thus once I truly realise there is no me, myself and I then all of my actions will not become stained by the eight worldly concerns and automatically, I practise right livelihood.

Thinking about what is right, I then wondered if my train of thinking was correct. When I was much younger, someone told me that the hardest vow to practise is that of right view because once you get the wrong one, it’s very hard to think or see or act otherwise. Then very recently, watching Inception, it was said that the hardest disease to get rid of was that of an idea.

Once you get an idea, your mind does everything it can to protect it. You act based upon the idea, develop more ideas based on that false idea, react to people based on that idea. So how do you make sure you get the right idea?

I’m going to leave this next part of thinking to my next drive home. This is exactly why I love driving at night, because clear roads help me to gain some semblance of a clear mind.

, , , , , Reflections and Teachings, Gifts

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